Archive for June 21st, 2010

Bug Bytes

Last night I had to sleep in my living room because a little ball of spider eggs hatched at some point right before bed and my ceiling was covered in baby spiders. Given that my fold out chair (it’s not a sofa, the mattress is a single) is one of the most uncomfortable things ever invented, I wasn’t especially thrilled about it, and I didn’t get any decent sleep. You can imagine how happy this makes me.

These were actually the nicest ones.

I will kill you with my mind.

I wouldn’t say I have a phobia of spiders, or bugs in general. Yes, I’m hyper-sensitive to bugs these days, but it’s largely because of having bed bugs for a year. And I don’t generally mind seeing bugs around. What bothers me is that they might bite me.

Bugs are fundamentally attracted to my flesh. I don’t know why, but I’ve been a mosquito magnet since the day I was born. Inevitably, when at a summer camp, I would be the only camper to get two or three ticks on them by the end of the day. And don’t get me started on spider bites. Never had a dangerous one, thankfully, but the buggers like to bite me. Of course there’s the bed bugs as well, but they will bite anyone who lies still long enough, so that’s not exactly surprising. The fact is that bugs like biting me. I dunno if I’m that tasty, or that offensive, but they do.

I also tend to have nightmares about spiders. Mostly on hot nights when I can’t even stand to have a cover on me and the air flow of the fan blowing tickles my exposed skin, which my sleeping mind interprets as bugs crawling all over me and makes into fun dreams. Gotta love those.

Anyway, the point is that I’m not afraid of bugs or spiders in general. I really like seeing them in cases, or at zoos, or anywhere else where I know they can’t escape and bite me. I even enjoy letting non-biting bugs crawl on me (grasshoppers, crickets and ladybugs, mostly). I’ve been tempted to get a tarantula as a pet (they’re so adorably fuzzy and eight-legged). I just freaking hate bug bites. They always itch and sometimes they even end up oozing or infected and it’s just awful.

So once I’ve managed to rally my exhausted mind and body into getting showered and dressed, I’ll be heading to the store for bug spray and/or boric acid. Because I don’t really relish the thought of finding fifty baby spiders under my mattress or next to my bedside lamp or anywhere at all, really.

ETA: I forgot to mention that my bed right now is just a mattress on the floor, because of the whole bed bug debacle, I had to get rid of my old mattress and bed frame along with my armchair and sofa. So finding bugs under my mattress isn’t far-fetched at all.


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