Archive for August, 2010


Seriously, my memory has been suffering badly lately. XD I thought about doing today’s post several hours ago, and then somehow managed to forget right after.

I feel very lethargic.

And slightly loopy.

I’m quite sleepy, had a long day (on the plus side, my car has working brakes now, on the minus side, my bank account is severely depleted), so sleep time for me.


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A long, slow day

Today is today is today.

And tomorrow will be as well.

Today I worked, which was slow, but generally okay. I made a Formspring, if anyone feels inclined to ask me things (you can do it anonymously, so feel free). I will generally answer anything. I am feeling a bit off tonight, so I’m afraid not much wit to spare. Hopefully tomorrow.

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So I’m just gonna go ahead and admit that I am not someone who cleans very often. Or, ever, really. I realize this is not a very hygienic way to live (especially when one has a cat who sheds more in tumbleweeds than tufts), but that’s how it is. Part of this is that I have very poor organizational skills. Any given surface in my apartment is covered in stuff, what stuff depending on what I’ve been doing for the past two weeks and where I’ve felt like throwing whatever I happen to have in my hands when I come in the door. I don’t leave milk out on the counter for a week or anything like that, and I am pretty good about not leaving food to rot, but sweeping/vacuuming/wiping stuff down is something I rarely do (never, really). I wash dishes because if I didn’t I wouldn’t be able to eat off of them (no dishwasher). I get the hair out of the drain every day, but only because my hair is so legendarily good at clogging that if I don’t it’ll be entirely stopped up in two days (no, I’m really not exaggerating). And forget cleaning the tub or the sink.

The thing is, while I am a bit of a clean freak in terms of my actual body (have to wash my hair and all cracks and crevices on my body at least once a day), I don’t really care so much about the other stuff. I mean, dust is definitely unpleasant, but since I can’t afford one of those fancy swiffer duster thingies, I generally just wipe it off with my hand and deal. I could probably use a Roomba, except it would require so much effort in terms of picking up after myself I’d never use it. XD I’m just inherently lazy.

But I have company coming next weekend (unless plans have changed, in which case that is totally okay), and I want my apartment to be semi-livable for someone with different cleanliness needs than me. So here’s my recap of the day, all times approximate. (more…)

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… Goddamn it.


Seriously. Crap noodles.

I was so busy today with not getting anything actually done that I completely forgot to take pictures and make a blog post. *Facepalm* I knew it would happen eventually. I will have a great post tomorrow to make up for it. I PROMISE. x.x

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So I’ve been temping pretty regularly the past couple weeks. X3 I can’t really tell a bunch about exactly what I’ve been doing, because it’s involved a lot of people’s names (privacy agreements and all that). But it’s been fairly steady work, and one place liked me so much that they want me to come back next week for another project, so. X3

Sometimes I get very caught up in my hair.

I feel pretty good today, all things considered.

Being gainfully employed, even without any kind of job security, is nice. XD I even got a gift card from the lady who was supervising me at the last job, and an offer for a good recommendation if I needed it, so I think I made a good impression on her. ;D

Anywho, I am popping off to the store to pick up a few things, hopefully I will have enough brain power to blog tomorrow.

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I am running on empty today.

I want a very large glass of wine.

Or possibly a liter of beer.

A hug would also be fine.

My brain chemicals and hormones are conspiring to make me very down today (in more than one sense of the word), so I sadly do not have a big old blog post for you. Have a picture of a hedgehog in a cape instead.

P.S. I would have an actual liter of beer, except I gave my HofbrÀuhaus mug to my older brother because he coveted it so much. Now I am sad I didn’t buy another one.

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Another typical day

These were a little difficult to take because my cat was insisting he occupy my lap, including the part with the laptop on it.

Today I have an assortment of links from various sources, because I am tired (didn’t get much sleep) and not really up to an in depth post myself, so enjoy other people’s posts!

Disgrace – A really good article drawing parallels between Woodrow Wilson’s unwillingness to take a stance on women’s suffrage and Obama’s ridiculous view on gay marriage.

My Little Strip of Stomach is Going to Drive You Mad – I really like this post because of the whole bikini thing that I’m trying to do. ;D Really, if you can’t handle seeing a tiny strip of a woman’s stomach skin, there’s something wrong with you, not her.

Fat Stigma: What to Do About It? – I like this article, talking about what steps we have to take to make fat stigma go away. Be sure to read the comments!

Actually, I just came across something that I forgot about until now, but I never saw addressed by any feminist blogs I’ve read, then or now (yes, I checked the archives). Maybe it’s just me, but do any other feminists read tons of webcomics? Because I read a ridiculous amount, even ones that aren’t that great (by which I mean, generally exhibit quite insulting themes on a regular basis). It’s kind of an addiction, actually. x.x And while I’ve noticed a few bloggers will deal with comics like, say, Penny Arcade, because it’s one of the best known webcomics out there, or XKCD, since it has a huge geek following, but they don’t seem to deal with many other webcomics with problematic themes. For instance, I have a friend who used to read Multiplex. She was appalled when they ran a very transphobic comic, and commented in the forum that she was disappointed and pointed out the problems with the comments made by certain characters. The creator basically told her to shut up, and she stopped reading it right then. But I never saw any blogs besides hers mention that comic. It seems like webcomics tend to get a free pass on being crass or hurtful, at least if they’re not uber-popular, because either most of the feminist/fat acceptance/social justice movement bloggers don’t read them, or they just don’t think it’s worth their time. I don’t know what it is, but it kind of disappoints me. I’m a woman, and I read comics and webcomics. I don’t just read comics like “Sandman” (famous for having a huge “goth girl” following), I also read Superman and Batman and Spiderman, although in large part it’s because most female superheroes still suck (not their fault, since they’re largely written by men). I don’t think there’s enough of a fuss being made about webcomics being huge assholes about stuff.

The reason I’m writing this is because of a particular comic that posted last November, that I bookmarked and tried to share with some fat acceptance bloggers I was following at the time, only to be ignored (I’m sure it wasn’t intentional, which is why I’m not calling them out on it). Now, Sinfest isn’t exactly a great comic when it comes to social justice anyway. The author can be quite crude and insulting at times, and at this point I only read it because I enjoy the Sunday strips (full color and the art is pretty) and there are two particular characters I really like (not the two main ones). But this particular comic really struck me, partly because I was somewhat new to fat acceptance still and partly because all the implications it made were staggeringly insulting.

The author is acknowledging in that comic that men believe they own women’s bodies (which is often enforced by the female lead shown in that comic). What he fails to acknowledge is that this knows no size barrier. Having lived as a fat woman for my entire adult life (and most of my childhood), I can testify to this fact personally. I am every bit as objectified as a thin woman would be. I get cat calls made at me. I get snide remarks about my body made in my hearing by all kinds of people, including other women. I get groped by men. I get threatened with violence by men. I have never been attacked (although I came close, in college), but that is largely because I’ve been lucky, and I don’t have much of a social life by choice. I deal with all of the sexist shit thin women do, and dare I say more, because I don’t conform to the bodily ideal, and many people are actually actively insulted by that. I have had people give me accusing looks in grocery stores or even random places like the DMV. I don’t know what they’re accusing me of, I guess ruining the world and being such a burden on the health care system, because I’ve been to the doctor FIFTY TIMES in the last six months. Oh, wait… I guess that was the other Chelsea, the one who also sits on her couch guzzling ketchup straight from the bottle while hooked up to a bacon grease IV (yeah, try to get that image out of your head now). Anyway, I digress. The point is, I have to deal with as much shit as any woman or any other size, and sometimes more. There’s no “get out of ogling free” card once you hit a certain weight. There’s no anti-violence force field that suddenly springs up around you when you “become” fat (really, ask all the fat women who’ve been sexually assaulted).

Now I’m thinking that perhaps I should make this a weekly feature, finding problematic webcomic strips and calling them out. I do it with love, because I want the world of webcomics to improve. And also because I dislike reading comics that treat me and my problems as trivial. You can do comedy without being insulting. Really. I promise.

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Death and Taxes

Just another typical Tuesday.

In which I yawn.

I was in the midst of thinking up a topic to blog about today when I checked Twitter and was informed that Satoshi Kon, a Japanese anime director (Perfect Blue, Paranoia Agent, Tokyo Godfathers, Paprika) has died at age 47.

The reason I think this is worth mentioning is that there are very few directors whose movies I tend to like, in general. I like movies based on the individual movie, and I rarely even take notice of who directed it, even if they’re “acclaimed” or whatever. The only American director I can think of whose movies I tend to like is Christopher Nolan, and that’s largely because I really like Batman and he did a good job with the franchise (not that one could do much worse than the previous Batman movies). I’ve also liked other movies of his, however, so I can say that I tentatively like his work.

On the other hand, there are two Japanese directors who have captivated me since I first discovered them, and Satoshi Kon is one. The first movie of his I ever saw was Tokyo Godfathers, which was randomly recommended to me by Netflix because I’d put some other anime in my queue that was similar. That movie was so charming that I added other movies of his, Paprika and Millenium Actress, and I loved them too. I intend to watch his other movies that are out as well, but have to work up to them, as I don’t do well with gore (even animated). Since he was young, I was looking forward to his future movies, but now I can’t do that anymore. There is one movie he’s been working on for the past two years, that I’m sure they’ll finish and release next year, as planned, but after that…

It’s one thing to have someone whose work you admire die at the ripe old age of 80 or 90. I live in fear of the day Hayao Miyazaki dies (my other beloved Japanese director), because he’s certainly getting up there, but even if he died this week (gods forfend), he will have left an amazing legacy behind him. Satoshi Kon was so young, and had so many wonderful works ahead of him, and now none of them will be realized. The charm, dramatic flair and depth of his movies will never be replicated, and it brings tears to my eyes.

I think this weekend I might rent some of his movies and have a Satoshi Kon-fest in his honor. As it is, the world has become just a little bit less awesome.

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Beauty Regimen

I seem to have surprised myself.

Well, if I'm gonna look silly, might as well make an effort at it.

Yeah, that’s one of those nose pore strip things. I use them every so often, mostly because I find them amusing (and they make my nose all tingly after I rip ’em off). I have to be honest, they seem to be better at ripping all the miniscule hairs off my nose than they are at getting gunk out of my pores, but eh. XD

I don’t really have any kind of beauty regimen to speak of. I wash my hair and face every day, put on deodorant, and brush my hair and teeth (not at the same time). I don’t blow-dry my hair, in part because it takes too long and I am impatient, and also because the only one I owned got put in storage with the rest of my stuff. Luckily I have easy hair, if I brush it wet it generally dries nicely with no extra effort on my part (except when it’s humid, which makes it a fuzzball).

I don’t really wear makeup ever. I’ve considered it, but it just isn’t a priority for me at the moment. If I need to know anything about makeup, it’s how to apply stage makeup, but that’s a whole ‘nother ball of wax from regular makeup. XD If I want to feel dressed up, I will apply some lipstick, that’s about the extent of my makeup adventures.

The thing is, when I’m well-dressed, I feel good about my appearance. I’m not sloppy, I have mostly clear skin and nice features, so I don’t really feel the need to change anything. I like my routine just fine. It works for me. And that’s the only person that matters when it comes to how I look. ;D

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Food is Pleasurable

That is a kitty ear in the corner of the picture.

My kitty is adorable and likes getting on my lap, especially if the laptop's already there.

One of the things that bugs me most about the whole “fat people must eat all the time” fallacy is that it leads to a general opinion that fat people have no sense of taste. Obviously, if you’re shoveling Hot Pockets down your gaping maw every five minutes for the entire time you’re awake, then you could care less what those hot pockets taste like. But I enjoy food a whole hell of a lot, and it has nothing to do with my being fat.

The stereotypical image of a thin woman is someone who doesn’t ever really eat. She obsessively tallies calories and punishes herself with guilt and verbal abuse when she puts even a toe out of line by eating a chocolate bar or (goodness forbid!) a pint of ice cream. And yet, I’ve known thin women who don’t eat much because they just don’t feel the need to, as well as thin women who can eat more in one sitting than I do, and so this stereotype is not one I associate with all thin women. And it’s a good thing, because I find the idea of someone willingly living like that to be unfortunate.

I am not going to get on my high horse and say I always eat healthy foods. That would be a lie. I am also not as physically active as I could be, but that is my prerogative at this point in my life. And it’s none of my business what other people eat or whether they exercise or not. Hell, it’s none of your business what I eat, but since I’m volunteering the information rather than being interrogated about it, it’s all good.

What I don’t understand is willfully punishing oneself for enjoying food. Food is one of the coolest things about being a human being, in my own humble opinion. Not only do our bodies do this amazing thing where they change the sustenance we take in into chemical energy to keep themselves going, but we can make it a good experience! We can combine an almost infinite variation of flavors to create meals that are tasty and satisfy our basic energy needs. How awesome is that?

We could be plants, you know. Taking in sunlight through our skin and photosynthesizing it into energy. No pesky chewing or going to the bathroom, just expelling oxygen when the process is done. Sure, it’s more efficient in the end, but it’s also boring. Can you imagine what life would be like without taste buds?

There are people who can’t taste things. People with brain damage, or nerve damage in their mouths, or something else that makes it impossible to taste. I don’t know if I could cope with that. If every food tasted the same, if there was no variation between meals, I’d probably see if I could just have them do it intravenously, to save my jaw from tedious chewing. Or just go on a liquid diet, since it would all taste the same.

And that’s not even counting the foods that bring back memories. While my family is as Caucasian as it’s possible to be, we ate a lot of Mexican-style foods growing up, and my favorite meal is burritos. It makes me think of home, of sharing a table with my family as we devoured our various combinations of fillings. That’s a double whammy of awesome sensory experience, right there. Not only do I get the deliciousness of the food, but also the memories associated with that food.

Food is pleasurable. There’s no way around that simple fact. All food is pleasurable, even if it’s not to all people. I don’t like mushrooms, but I can understand why so many people do. They’re pretty interesting things, and there’s so many different kinds to try. I don’t like spicy food because it hurts my mouth, but to someone who does like it, it can be divine. I love thai iced tea because it’s such a delicious mixture of black tea and cream, but I’ve had friends try it and say it tasted like a cigarette butt. XD

I can understand trying to limit one’s intake of certain foods, to a point. I don’t judge people for dieting, as long as they don’t preach to me about it or talk about how being fat is disgusting or how huge their thighs are (since I’m 99% more likely to be the fattest person in the room, no matter where I am). But I don’t really understand allowing guilt or other negative emotions to interfere with taking pleasure in food. Food is pleasurable. Enjoy it, while you still can.

Now I think I’m going to go have a bowl of cereal for dinner. XD Because I am in the mood for something featuring cold milk.

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