HAIRCUT.

You guys! I am cute and sassy!! But first, a picture of the new cat perch I bought for Sen.

This is Sen's new cat "tree", currently draped with my dirty clothes so it absorbs my smell.

I also sprayed it with catnip for good measure. XD Hopefully he will warm up to it in a couple days. It is this one, you just can’t tell so well with all the clothing on it.

THIS IS MY NEW HAIRCUT!

The light in my bathroom is so orange, here is a more natural photo!

The bangs are a little bit wonky on the side because carrying the cat tree upstairs made my forehead sweat so they got a bit plastered, but otherwise OMG GUYS I HAVE SHORT HAIR.

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Hair-raising!

That is me holding my ponytail straight up.

Today was a co-worker’s, birthday, so last night I baked cookies for her, hence not being able to post. That, and I spent it with my best friend doing the most fun thing ever. XD

You see, when we were in high school, and into college and even in fairly recent years, we spent a good amount of time doing IM roleplaying. If you’re not familiar with that, well, suffice it to say it’s much more formless than, say, tabletop roleplaying or LARPing. There were no real rules, no set time period or anything, we just came up with a plot and characters and went. We spent a LOT of our creative energy on this, and were so proud of our efforts that we ended up posting some of them online.

… Yeah. So last night, on a whim, we went back and re-read our efforts from high school. And it was fucking HILARIOUS. Oh my god, we were so DRAMATIC. And everything was filled to bursting with ANGST ANGST ANGST. At one point I was almost CRYING with laughter.

It probably isn’t as funny to someone who didn’t live it, but in case you’re curious, here’s the site. ;D Just, do please keep in mind that we were in high school at the time. I was MokonaChiirushia (long, LONG story) and my best friend was Hokuto Kuzuki. FEAR OUR TEENAGE ANGST.

In other news, I made the appointment to get all my hair chopped off today. This Saturday! I WILL DEFINITELY POST.

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Lo lo lo lo lo

Another Monday, another grumpy face.

Taking my hair down because I don't like how it looks in the ponytail.

OH GOD IT'S EATING MY HEAD!!

Today was an okay day at work. The unfortunate side effect of working Saturdays is that come Monday, I always feel like I hardly had a weekend. I was also dragging a bit in the morning because I stayed up later than usual reading (not a new book, even, one I’ve read many times). *Facepalm* Still, okay day all around.

So I’ve decided to get my hair cut. I’ve gotten it cut a few times over the years, usually into a bob, which I look really cute in. But I’ve decided that this time, I’m going to experiment with a new look, and go UBER-SHORT. Not sure exactly what style just yet, I’m going to discuss that with the stylist when I go in. It’ll be this weekend, after I get paid (I technically have the money now, but I like making a “splash” on Monday morning, it’s the drama queen in me). Also that way, if it turns out awful, I will have time before Monday to get it fixed somewhere else. XD Or shaved bald, whatever! Doesn’t really matter, hair grows back. X3

I’m working up to something soon that I am really excited about, but don’t want to talk about just yet, in case I jinx it. I’m trying to figure out some time things also, so we’ll see what happens with that.

Um… Am I being vague enough? ;D

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La la la la la la la

Surprise!

My "blegh" face.

Today has been a slow, lazy sort of day, which I am happy with. Playing Dragon Age 2 some more (because why the hell not, right?) and knitting during the cut-scenes and such. X3 Went to the store for a couple small things, was happily surprised at how empty it is. It pays not to be a Christian on days like this. XD

Anywho, back to my DA2. ;D

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Collision course

Whew! I was getting hot, so I put my hair up.

It may not be obvious, but I'm not wearing a bra. I tend to take it off when I get home.

Whew. I’m all hot now, I worked late today (my workplace has this, ahem, “interesting” schedule thing where when you work a Saturday, it’s only a 6 hour day, so you have to make up the remaining 2 hours to get a 40 hour work week, and I work Saturday this week), when I got home I immediately washed dishes (the sink was full of them from the other night) and then cooked food, and now I am very hot, even though I took off my work pants and put on shorts, then put my hair up. XD

Today was a bit of a better day. I’ve had percolating thoughts concerning some of my unhappiness lately and I am considering many things. Many many things. I am not ready to speak of them just yet, but perhaps soon. I wrote an interesting post on a forum I frequent near the end of my work day (sadly Ravelry is member’s only and if you don’t knit you don’t really want to join) which I was kind of proud of. Basically taking an idea someone had posted about a while back and spinning my own thoughts on it pertaining to the subject of the thread. It was good, anyway. XD Now I think I shall sit back and enjoy a movie while I eat, my back still hurts a bit.

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Less and less of me.

Another day, another depression.

Playing Dragon Age 2 to get my mind off it.

I’m really sort of generally unhappy with my life right now. Like, there are good things (like boyfriend, and knitting), but I feel like the bad outweighs them by a mile. I don’t know. I’m having a hard time feeling positive about anything today. My back hurts, I’m exhausted, and work was not much fun.

I don’t know. I’m thinking hard about a lot of things in my life right now, but I can’t make any decisions until I feel less like things will fall apart. I don’t want to tear down the few measly inches I’ve managed to build, do I?

… Then again, part of me just sort of wants to take off and go somewhere crazy at random. New York, Colorado, Michigan. Just anywhere but here. Go something, be somewhere, feel alone because I’m on my own, rather than feeling alone among the people I know.

No one said this was going to be easy, but I wish I felt less like a failure at every step.

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Coo coo

Put my hair back because today was CLEANING DAY.

I really think I need to get it cut, though. Long is starting to frustrate me.

I had today off work because I’m working Saturday this week, and they give you a weekday off to compensate. Of course this means I won’t have a proper weekend until the 30th, but ah well. XD

This afternoon, after I took my shower, I heard a sound I hadn’t heard in a long time. It was a sound I didn’t immediately recognize, and I walked into the living room to try and pinpoint where it was coming from. I realized that there was a dove sitting on my windowsill on the side of the house, cooing. I slowly moved the blinds away and peaked out at it, mere inches and a pane of glass separating us. It was gray, with speckles, and it continued cooing while I watched. When it saw me, it tried to hide in the ivy that grows on that side of the building, and then it flew away. It came back later, though, I heard it cooing while I was cleaning the living room. So that was my piece of “ah, life is beautiful” for today.

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Er… oops?

Wow, it's been HOW long?

I swear, it isn’t intentional.

Let’s be honest here. I started this blog partly because I wanted to have a project that dealt with my body insecurities, as well as something I could hold myself accountable to update regularly. But I also started it because I had nothing better to do. I was working temp jobs, sometimes with whole weeks off in the between time. I hardly had any friends and my local family had become insanely busy with their own stuff. I was lonely and I wanted to find a way to reach out to people online, and posting pictures seemed like a good way to do it.

My life has changed a lot since this project started. I have a real, full-time job now. I have a boyfriend, I have more local people to hang with, and overall my life is full and busy.

That DOESN’T mean I intend to abandon this blog. I told myself I was going to stick with it, and goddamn it, I’m going to. And I’m going to try to get back into the groove of posting a pic every day, and at least one “real” blog post a week. I’ll just have to pick my battles on this one, and not beat myself up if I miss a day here or there.

In other news, I have the day off tomorrow (working Saturday, so I get a weekday off to compensate) and I am gonna try to work on several things, mainly cleaning, that need done.

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I don’t even know.

This is about how I feel right now.

I feel like crap. Physically, emotionally, mentally. I know it’s partly because I hardly did anything yesterday but play Dragon Age 2 and I stayed up way too late because of that. And part of it is because I was supposed to go to the symphony with a friend and she had to cancel for family reasons and now I can’t find anyone else who might want to go, and I don’t want to go alone, but I hate wasting the tickets, even if they only cost me $4 each (silent auction at work).

So yeah. Overall, I feel like crap. Now to force some food into me to see if that might alleviate it the tiniest bit.

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Yay, depression!

It has been a very long day.

So long that I ended up having two beers before dinner.

I feel like I should photoshop a Brain slug onto this one. XD

Last night I was feeling depressed. This morning I felt even worse. I went into work and spent the entire morning and into the lunch period feeling like a worthless human being who is wasting air by existing. It was pretty awful.

The only reason that changed was because in the afternoon, my boss decided to kick our butts. Since we have fifty million things to do on any given day, and we never have enough time to do it, we’d fallen behind on a particular project, and she was reprimanded by HER boss, and thus handed us down an ultimatum. Which is kind of laughable, because while part 1 of the ultimatum is doable, part 2 is impossible. It’s not going to happen, unless one of us invents time travel before next Friday and goes back in time to work eight hour shifts overnight. And even then I don’t know if it would happen.

I got very stressed, so much so that by the end of my shift, I was nearly frantic. I decided to say “fuck my budget” and went to the grocery store and bought a case of beer. Killian’s, if you’re curious. And thus, I have had two beers. And right now, I feel buzzed enough to just say “fuck work” and not worry about it for tonight. Tomorrow is another day.

And at least I don’t work at Kroger anymore.

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