This was originally a blog post published on October 20, 2010.
Last night I had the unfortunate experience of having to unfriend someone on Facebook who insisted I was delusional for being part of the Fat Acceptance movement. Since I was exhausted and didn’t have the spoons to argue with him last night, I simply went ahead and unfriended him. Because he kept telling me that my depression was leading me to believe in delusional fantasy states. *Sigh* Trust me, I know what those look like, and this? Is definitely not one.
This morning, once I had slept on it and felt more awake and capable of thinking critically, I realized that part of the issue is that I’ve never really bothered to talk about Fat Acceptance 101 on this blog (that is, introductory ideas and subjects that let you know what FA is, what it means, and so on). I assumed that most of my readers would be at least passingly familiar with the subject, but that’s not always the case. So here, my friends, are an assortment of links to much better blogs than mine, detailing some of the basic tenets of Fat Acceptance. Some of these posts have links to other posts or articles, I encourage you to read all of those as well. (Special thanks to TheRotund, Corpulent and Kate Harding).
Just So We’re Clear… Some Fat Facts – Dispelling some of the most common “fat is unhealthy” myths.
Don’t You Realize Fat Is Unhealthy? – Second verse, same as the first.
Health At Every Size: choice or coercion? – An honest to goodness fat nutritionist breaks down what HAES is about and why it’s so important for everyone, not just fat people.
Fat Acceptance Is For Everyone – What the title says. We don’t exclude anybody.
Acceptance is not ‘giving up’ – More on Fat Acceptance and how important it is.
The basic point, as you should have gleaned, is that everyone in the world deserves to be treated with basic human dignity. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: we are all human beings. We all deserve the same rights. Regardless of how you, personally, feel about a subject (such as fat), you should not treat another human being like shit over it. Fat Acceptance is about bodily autonomy. That means that I am not going to harrass you about the fact you feel you need to lose weight, and I will expect you not to harrass me about choosing not to lose weight. We’re both human beings, and adults, we both deserve respect and dignity. I may make suggestions (I really, truly recommend Alexander Technique to anyone and everyone) but I will not attempt to override your feelings.
I was really rankled by my ex-friend’s comments last night. I spent a good deal of time examining my feelings about why I was so upset, and I realized that it was because he was denying me autonomy. Aside from the issues of willfully misinterpreting FA and my feelings about it, he was trying to tell me that what I thought and felt about my life in general was wrong, and delusional. That I could not trust myself. That’s not only hurtful, but frustrating. Forcing me to examine my own feelings on the basis that he might be right (however small the chance) made it so that I was so emotionally overwrought I couldn’t bring together my thoughts long enough to refute his argument. That’s low. It’s a guerilla tactic, to make your enemy blind with emotion so they can’t defend themselves.
I am thankful, however, that I am in a place now where I can see that. I recognized, even in the midst of my feelings, that he obviously did not have my best interests at heart, and that I was better off without such a “friend” in my life. I thank my strong sense of self-worth and all the friends I have who love and support me for that. There have been many times over the course of my life where I let trolls get to me because I was already on shaky ground, uncertain of myself, with low self-esteem and a general feeling that I was wrong, no matter what I was trying to say or do, but I’m past that now. I’m not totally certain of anything, of course, but I know who I am, and what is best for me. I am not afraid to take control of my life and do things to benefit my overall well-being.
A part of me is sad, because I already have so few friends locally, but I know it was for the best. The only thing any of us can do is to keep moving forward. And so I will. Good night, loves.
MirrorMe 
Leave a Reply